Finding a Wedding Dress {part 1}

((Not "The Dress," but a favorite))

Just a few months after we started dating, J and I started talking about marriage. We weren't sure that the institution was for us (we were considering just being partners 'fo life), and I told him that if we didn't get "married", I still wanted two things: a party, and a dress! Obviously our views on marriage changed, and on July 10th of last year, we decided to get engaged!

Basically since that moment, my mom has been asking me to go wedding dress shopping. I kept telling her no, because at the time, the wedding was still more than two years away! I was also aware that "the dress" was one of the things I really, really cared about, and I didn't want the experience to go by too fast.

Finally, over Christmas break, I agreed to let my mom and grandma come up to Concord/Boston and go dress shopping. And by "agreed," I mean I was desperate to see them. :)

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In certain ways, wedding dress shopping was nothing like I anticipated. In other ways, it was everything I hoped for and more.

I admittedly watch way too many episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress," so my views of dress shopping were heavily influenced by that. I thought that when I found "the dress," I would cry and be a total mess and have sparks and butterflies. I was worried that because so many brides on the show had body image issues and felt fat in dresses, I would too.

The first store we went to in Boston was BHLDN. I've been obsessed with BHLDN since I found out about it a year or so ago, so I was convinced that I would find my wedding dress there. I had a lovely time, tried on some beautiful dresses, and had two favorites that I thought could be definite contenders. I didn't cry, but I got excited about marrying my best friend - which is, in my opinion, a better reaction! I genuinely felt beautiful in everything I tried on, which was a huge relief for me and really set the tone for the weekend. We left with those two favorites in mind, and I thought how this process could actually... dare I say it... fun!

The next appointment we had was the same afternoon, in this little loft space in Beacon Hill, Boston. It was like walking into a dream - it was a loft space, painted all white, huge windows, lots of light, and of course, wedding dresses everywhere! I probably tried on 10 dresses, and while I couldn't fit my butt into several of them (story of my life though), I had so much fun! The owner had a flower crown you could wear with the dresses, and it totally set the mood. Like at BHLDN, there were two dresses that really stuck out to me. I didn't cry, but I was getting more and more excited about this process. 

I now had four dresses that I really liked, which was comforting to me rather than stressful. In my mind, I now had four dresses that I could pick from and be perfectly happy! What a great position to be in!

My last appointment in Boston was in this upscale bridal salon downtown. I was hesitant to go to that one because of our budget, but my mom convinced me that it would be a fun experience to try on really nice dresses and I caved (because pretty things and because moms). I had an actual consultant at this salon, and I explained that I wanted a fun dress: something kind of quirky, comfortable, and, well, fun! I told her I wanted an A-line dress, but that I was open to trying on new things. She kind of stuck up her nose when I told her we had been to BHLDN, and I got the impression that she didn't get me or what I was looking for.

I probably looked the best in all of the dresses we tried on there. The problem was, I wasn't feeling any of them. They were all on the verge of being ballgowns, and while all of them were gorgeous (and made my waist look teeny tiny), I literally felt nothing in them. Everyone kept looking at me like they were waiting for me to have this moment... and I just wasn't having it. I felt uncomfortable, the dresses were all too expensive for how I felt in them, and I kept thinking about the other dresses I had tried on at the other store in downtown Boston and how they had made me want to marry J and party all night long...

Did you have a similar reaction at any of the places you shopped at? Were you (or are you) worried about not having the right reaction or about not looking good in dresses? How did you know when you had a connection with a dress?