Thursday, April 4

Your Sorority Relationship

You've heard about the different sororities on campus and can't help but think, "Which one would work best for me?" even if you're not sure you're interested. You start seeing girls from the different sororities on campus and get little flutters at the thought of being their sister. You wonder if years down the line, you and them will be best friends. You laugh at your silly fantasies.

You decide to go through Recruitment. You figure, why not? At the very least, I'll get a free t-shirt out of it, meet a lot of girls on campus, and get to eat free food.

As you go through Recruitment, you start to realize which houses are not for you. You go to a house and think, "Hey, I don't really meld well with the girls here." You go to another house. This has serious potential... This could be it. You go to another house and think, "Wait, this could be it too!" During Recruitment, you meet girls who you immediately know you will be friends with. You go on a hundred little dates, trying to figure out who they are and where you fit in.

You may not have a perfect time at each house. Maybe one night, a girl says something to you that bothers you. Maybe a girl doesn't talk to you and you feel awkward. Not every date has to be perfect. Maybe you're not invited back to one or two of the houses that you really liked. You're not guarenteed perfect dates. Some are bound to be worse than others.

Finally, Recruitment's over and you have to make a decision. Do you want to committ to this sorority? Are you ready to make that step? Do they even want you too? You're pacing around your room until you finally get a call... And you find out that, yes, they feel the same way.

You pledge your love and committment to them. You're excited and jittery. It's so new! You're learning so much about your sorority and about your sisters and they're learning just as much about you. You start forming closer friendships with certain girls. You think back to earlier in the year, when you looked around at some of these same girls and fanasized about being their friend... And here you are, sharing secrets, clothes, and shampoo.

You're expected to have dates on the regular and talk about your relationship. It's not super fun, but you know it's necessary to keep the relationship strong.

You decide to move in together.

You're nervous and excited! You're going to get new roommates and live in the same house as 40+ other girls! It sounds daunting, but you can just imagine all the sleepless nights, the study breaks, dinners, movie watching... It's going to be perfect!

But sometimes it's not. Sometimes a girl you're close with will do something that hurts your feelings. Sometimes you will hear about girls in the house making fun of other girls for being fat or for being awkward. You'll do some of this yourself. You'll talk about how this girl or that girl is so pretentious and thinks she's all that. You'll say something mean about someone, they'll hear about it, and you'll apologize.

You'll realize that your relationship was not quite as perfect as it seemed. You'll feel guilty for realizing this imperfection.

Eventually, you'll realize that your relationship is not about perfection. You'll realize that your sisters, like you, are human and are going to make mistakes. You'll realize that being in a relationship is not about being perfect for the other person 24/7, but about something so much more than that.

You'll realize that this relationship is beautiful, not in spite of the imperfections, but because of them.

Sometimes you are going to judge your sisters. Sometimes they are going to judge you. Sometimes you are going to disagree. Sometimes people are going to come between you and cause a rift. Sometimes you are going to say things that are meant to help, but actually hurt.

You will realize that the success of your relationship is not judged by how little you mess up, but by how you fix the wounds that you have made, time and time again.

You will realize that you have made a lifelong committment, and nothing should come between that. You will sit next to that girl that kind of annoys you because she is your sister. You will wish that all the girls in the house were the same political party as you, but then you will stop wishing that because you realize that would be boring. You will understand that some girls are conservative and some are liberal, and that both are okay. You will not agree with your sisters all of the time, and you will know that that is normal.

You will disapprove of the things they do sometimes. You will not judge them, because they are your sisters. You will stay up late feeding your drunk roommate cereal and trying to make sure she gets to bed safely. You will ask your sister if she would like to go to church with you, and if she says no thanks, you will smile because she is your sister. You will not like every group your sisters are involved in. You will not approve of all the people they hang out with.

Your job, as their sister, is to love them regardless. Your job is to understand that it takes all kinda of women to make up a sorority. Your job is to mess up sometimes, forgive yourself, and heal the wounds.

You will realize that your sisters love you whether you are fat, skinny, or in between. You will always have someone to go with you to an event on campus. Someone will always have your back when you are broken up with; even if it was totally your fault, you will be told repeatedly that that guy was a huge asshole. You will be loved whether you are single, in a serious relationship, or dating three guys at once. You will not be judged for who you were in high school or who you were back in your home town. Over breaks, you will be told how much you are missed. When you graduate, you will also be told how much you are missed, and this will mean even more to you than you can imagine.

You will laugh yourself until you almost pee, which will make you laugh even more. You will have movie nights and cry over dying, lovesick characters. You will talk to your sisters about that boy they like who hasn't called them back yet. You will cry to them about that boy (or girl) who hasn't called you back either. You will wear swimsuits over your clothes and prance around the house. You will steal woven reindeer and keep him safe in your closet. You will go out with your sisters to The Zoo (when you are of age, of course), have a few drinks, and dance to "Bad Romance." You will help each other home at night. You will study with your sister who is failing Statistics because who could blame her? It's a hard class. You will have late nights. You will wonder, "Why am I always staying up so late?!" Then you will look around at your sisters laughing in the lounge with you, and you will smile and know why.

This is a relationship. It is not always easy, it is never perfect, and it is always hard work... But it is always worth it.


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