Wednesday, July 12


Time and Place: 8:30AM, having just sat down with a coffee, a water, and my computer. I'm in our apartment. I love mornings here because it's always really quiet and peaceful around the complex and it's still cool outside (it's been sweltering lately). I tend to be way more productive in the morning!

I'm finishing up this post around noon - not because I worked on it for 3 1/2 hours, but because Blogger was acting strange and not uploading pictures properly, and my computer was going so slow! Thankfully, everything fixed itself and this post WILL survive. 😉

 I'm leaving in a few days to fly to Iowa for two weeks, but J's staying behind to work, so he'll be surviving off chips and salsa and there's really no point in buying groceries before I leave. But 
we're completely out of vegetables, haha. This is a personal nightmare for me. I'm going to head to Trader Joe's this afternoon to pick up lunch for myself and J, and probably get some pre-made salads for tomorrow too. I'm not huge into salads in general, but there's really nothing like a great salad to make you feel clean, refreshed, and healthy! I had an Ahi Tuna Salad yesterday at a restaurant that was honestly one of the best salads I've ever had, and it's totally inspired me.

I've also been eating ramen a lot lately in order to save money, but it's definitely made me feel super bloated (all that sodium...). J has to keep reminding me that I eat really healthy, and a ramen here or there isn't going to ruin me. Also, for posterity, I crave pizza pretty much every day of my life, so let's not pretend I'm this paragon of healthy eating. 😂

Enjoying: The small moments and a growing community. One of the best parts of my contracting experience has been that I've been forced to leave our apartment and actually meet people. I hung out with a guy I know from work recently, and he said something like, "So, I assume that you want to talk about job stuff?" And naturally, I responded, "Yeah, but also, like, I want friends..." 😂

I do feel like I'm meeting people who I genuinely like, and I could not be more tired of discussing my job prospects. Everyone I talk to says, "You're doing everything right, just keep it up!" so it's exhausting to explain my situation over and over again just to hear the same response. Regardless, I've loved getting to meet so many awesome people! I've gotten involved with some alumni from my college here in Denver, and it's been so nice to feel like I have a tiny family here (beyond my actual tiny family, haha).

Listening to: 

Apple Music is a hell of a thing, folks. I love the individualized playlists they make, and I haven't been disappointed once!

Photo by Liz Morrow

Loving: My college friends. 💖 I love that we have this little group where we can be completely honest with each other. I truly, truly love them, and I'm so grateful for their support, their love, and their honesty.

Craving: I really wanted something chocolatey the other day, so I looked up this recipe for chocolate cupcakes! I only have 6 reusable silicone cupcake liners, so I used about half the batter and froze the other half to make later. "Later" has already occurred, haha. The cupcakes turned out really well, though I wouldn't mind them having more of a chocolate flavor - I might try changing it up a bit and adding more cocoa and/or chocolate chips next time?

Also craving: new clothes. I stopped by Target this morning and tried on a few items. I literally never go shopping - I think the last time I shopped for clothes was right after Christmas, excluding looking for a bridesmaids dress in March. Target has sooo many cute things right now! I almost bought this really cute romper-dress. It looks weird in the picture and sounds weird, but I swear it looked really cute on, haha.

Purchasing: Nothing recently beyond groceries! Trying to keep those spending habits under control while I figure out my job situation, haha. 😉

Sharing: Guys, I love this blog: The Brave Life, by Liz Morrow. Liz was actually our wedding photographer because we won a contest she put on, but I was a huge fan before that. Liz is not only a great writer and photographer, but I appreciate the thoughtfulness that goes into her work, and she's one of the most authentic, genuine people I've met on the internet and in the blogging world. She writes about feminism, motherhood, burlesque, marriage, healthy living, and so much more - and if you follow her on Instagram, you'll see why I have total heart eyes for her. She also does some AMAZING, boudoir-type photo shoots that focus on women, not on the male gaze, and she's organized weekends in the past for women to get in touch with themselves, other women, and nature. Liz is an incredible person, and you should follow her!

Anticipating: Going "home" to Des Moines for the next few weeks! I'm really excited to see my family, a bunch of my friends, and go to my favorite spots around Des Moines. I'll be working a lot of the time, but I'm hoping I'll get the chance to do a lot while I'm in town too. We're definitely going to a ball game with some alums from my college, but I'm hoping to do a ton of walking, running, exploring, and maybe get into a few shenanigans. 😉

Sporting: Honestly? A lot of leggings, shorts, flowy shirts, workout clothes, and tank tops. One of the best parts of doing contracting work is that I usually work from home, so it's been really nice to basically wear pajamas around all day! The downside is that J and I try not to turn our air conditioning on in order to save money (we made it all last summer!), so our apartment can get a little toasty during the day. It's been so hot this last week, but thankfully the last two days have been windy and rainy - it definitely cooled things down around here!

Also, I can't be the only person that hates summer, right?! Like, I sweat all the time, I am constantly sticky and/or gross, my makeup won't stay on, I'm in danger of burning pretty much every time I leave the house, and I hate stuffing my ample thighs into shorts when I'm just going to chaff anyway, haha. Summer is awful. Fall can't come here soon enough!

Stability. That's my biggest complaint right now, and has probably been my biggest complaint since moving to Denver. J and I moved here with the intention of settling down (3-4 states in the past 3-4 years was exhausting), and while he has basically found his dream job at a record store, I'm still trying to find my place here. Even before I got to law school, my "plan" was to find a great firm and then work there until I died, haha. I've never wanted to be that person who moved firms 4 times in 4 years, or used a firm to train her until I could move up and on from them. That's not me at all - I just want a place that I can truly invest myself, who will invest in me in return, and where I will get to do meaningful work.

Point being, I've been pretty down about the lack of stability in my life right now. Obviously there are constants - J, my family, my friends - and I love the work I'm getting. I just want a job that I can see myself in, long-term, and where I can be comfortable. I'm trying to stay optimistic that I can find something here that will make me happy, but it's hard, gang.

Discovering: Conor Oberst/Bright Eyes. Guys, don't make fun of me. It's not like I didn't know about Conor Oberst or Bright Eyes. I owned a few songs by both (given to me by J and/or my friend Kendra), but I always had this idea of Conor Oberst as some skinny, emo guy with a weird voice. I just didn't get it. Like, why was everyone into him?! 

I really like Tim Kasher, who sings in a few bands that J and I really love. Tim Kasher and Conor Oberst are best friends and basically grew up together. J ended up getting tickets to see both of them in a single show. Unfortunately, we got there late and missed Tim Kasher's performance, but we did get the chance to see Conor Oberst perform. Guys, he and his band were incredible. I finally got him. He had this heartfelt bond with the people he played with and this amazing energy on stage. I was completely inspired by the performance; the next morning, I started playing music again and ended up listening to 2-3 of his albums in an afternoon.

One lesson I learned from this that I think is important: Music is really meant to be heard live. We're able to record it, which is great and useful and amazing, etc., but it's nothing like live music.

Dreading: Mostly just the job hunt, to be honest. I'm not sure this really counts as "dreading" because I'm in the middle of it, but it is extremely frustrating, confidence-busting, and annoying. But it's necessary as much as it's awful, so. 💁

Organizing: I have a few projects around the apartment I want to fix up. I have a corner above the cats' litter box where I keep a lot of my art and work supplies (paperclips, coloring books, markers, pens, sticky notes, etc.). Right now, it's literally just a box full of supplies. We don't have a desk right now and we probably won't get one unless I end up doing contracting more long-term, but I'm trying to find a way to keep everything looking nice AND become more functional.

I also have found it impossible to keep our coffee table looking nice. I'll clean it, but two days later, it's covered in beer cans, keys, papers, etc. How do people do organize their coffee tables?! I feel like every time I've seen a "Pinterest-worthy" coffee table, there's nothing on it (or like, a decorative book???), which just isn't feasible for us.

Reading: I'm currently re-reading Watership Down, which is one of my favorite books! I know I need to keep reading, especially new books, this year, but I've found it really difficult to keep up my 12x12 project these last two years in particular. Weirdly enough, it was way easier to keep up during law school. Everyone told me reading for fun during law school was practically impossible, but I think reading during your first few years as a real attorney are even harder!


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