12x12: How to Have the Wedding You Want

How to Have the Wedding You Want 

(Not the One Everybody Else Wants You to Have)

by Christine Egan

J and I got this book for Christmas from my parents, and although I offered to let him read it first, it became clear that it was tailored towards women, not men. He's still offered to read it after I'm done (ahem), but to be honest, I read so much out loud to him, he's probably heard most of this book anyway! I read a small tidbit right when I opened the book, and I could tell immediately that I was going to love this book.

What I Loved:

• Everything. Literally everything.
• The book is kind of meant for people who haven't spent their whole lives planning their wedding - who don't really have an idea about what they're doing, but also don't want to be pushed and pulled every which way by our families and friends - who, if we're going to get married, want to have a wedding that represents us. This could not have spoken more to me and J.
• The entire book is basically made up of interviews, melded perfectly into commentary and reads more like a real BOOK rather than a self-help book. It's easy to read, which I really appreciated!
• The book is separated by subject, but each section is filled with examples of what real couples have done to make their weddings about them. There was a couple who did a pot-luck style wedding, where every guest brought a food to the reception. It was super cheap for the couple, and they were relaxed enough to not worry about controlling everything. There was another couple who did a really similar thing, but hated it because they were trying to micro-manage everything! There was a couple who had an evening wedding at their favorite bar, spent all night playing volleyball, and went with all the guests who were still there and awake to a breakfast spot at 4AM. Now, that doesn't sound like it's for me, but it was SO refreshing to realize that couples did all of these weird things that were so them, you know? That we weren't limited to a traditional wedding, and could really do something that was us.
• Along those lines, this book made me SO excited to have a wedding!! It was fun, interesting, and totally non-judgmental about doing weird things that speak to you as a couple instead of trying to make everyone else happy. All that stress I was feeling this past fall? Totally gone, partially thanks to this book!
• Have I mentioned that the author is actually really funny? And a good writer? It was a breath of fresh air. I couldn't put this book down!

What I Wasn't Crazy About:

• I wish it had been geared more towards men as well as women. I think it's something that's bothered me about most wedding things, actually - that it's all geared towards women ("brides"), and kind of forgets about the person they're marrying. J and I want to be equally involved in this process, so I wish this book (and everything else) was more inclusive of him as well. After all, it's not my wedding - it's ours!

Would I Recommend This Book?

• ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY. I may actually re-read this book just for fun. 
• Honestly, I don't think you need to be engaged to enjoy this book - it's interesting, fun, and full of great ideas! It was useful not just to figure out what I liked, but also what I didn't like - which I never would have known if I hadn't heard about the idea in the first place, you know? Like, that bar wedding sounded like a TON of fun, but is it us? Probably not - I'm not a night owl, so the only way I'm staying up is if I'm constantly plied with Starbucks. But breakfast sounds amazing to me, haha. But I never would have even considered that kind of wedding if I hadn't read it about in the first place. I learned more about my (and J's) preferences about the wedding through reading this book than I ever could have learned in three years without it!

What a great way to start off the year! :) I seriously adored this book, and I hope you do too!